Sunday, November 11, 2012

Self pity...


 Last night, I felt drained... empty...


Just wishing, that instead of hearing about everyone else's needs, 

That someone would ask me how I was doing... 

And that an answer of "I'm just so tired and overwhelmed!" would be an answer that would somehow garner some pity...

My needs, hurts, desires just always feel so PETTY - compared to what I see, hear and walk through with those around me!   



I woke up this morning to an incessant knock at the gate.  Honestly, I just tried to ignore it at first!  Still in my pajamas, just waking up, I REALLY wasn't ready for a visitor!  But the knocking was so persistent!  

Finally I got my shoes on and went to welcome my guest.  A 14 year old girl, one who has attended a few of our "Girls With Vision" meetings.  It took 2 cups of tea and 6 slices of bread before she finished sharing her story...

...Last night, while I was falling into bed, oozing with my own self-pity, Harriet and her 5 younger brothers and sisters (down to age 2) along with their jobless parents had also fallen into bed... HUNGRY.  They had had nothing to eat in the whole day!  This morning, sweet Harriet had decided that she would try to find some food for her family.  

It was easy to raid our own cupboards and find food for this family.  Tomorrow afternoon, I will visit Harriet's mama.  I hope she will join our Girls With Vision group - maybe we will be able to help her find a job or start a business.  For sure, we can introduce her to the ONE who never gets caught up in self pity... who always has the time and energy to pour out love and grace lavishly... to empty HIMSELF!

Hmmm... I don't need pity any more!  I still feel exhausted... but I also feel, once again, so blessed!  

God, help me to be ready, willing to continue to empty myself... for YOUR sake... on behalf of others!